The Mad Song

I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And someone called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.

William Butler Yeats wrote “The Song of Wandering Aengus” in the late 1890s. It was first printed in 1897 under the title “A Mad Song.”

It is about an old man reminiscing about an event long ago when he was compelled to go out to cut a branch for fishing. With it, he caught a magical silver trout, which was then transformed into a vision of a “glimmering” maiden. The life-quest he set himself was to find this girl who called his name before she vanished.

When I read this poem, I could not help thinking of Emma Fillipoff because since she vanished in 2012, her family, friends and many concerned citizens are on a life-quest to find her; her memory indelible and clouded in mystery.

Not unlike the glimmering maiden of Yeats, she lived between two realities. Ordinary life and the mystical other world of dreams.

She seemed to wrestle with handling practical things of life and the strong compulsion to follow her dream and any cosmic sign. Kind of stuck between the abstract and the concrete.

Finding Emma Fillipoff

‘’Je m’appelle Emma

Et je ne sais pas

Si jamais cœur aima

Aussi fort que moi’’

In French, the name Emma sounds like the past simple form of the verb ‘aimer’ which means to love. It is beautiful, light and whimsical; exactly like Emma Fillipoff.

Emma was last seen in Victoria, British Columbia, on November 28, 2012, in front of the Empress hotel.

She was talking to two police officers who had been dispatched after an acquaintance called 911 because he was worried about her mental state after spotting her hesitantly standing at a street corner clutching her shoes and looking paranoid.

After walking with her, he realized that something was off and went to a nearby café to call for help.

What happened next has been reported countless times in newspapers, blogs, TV news, reports and shows.

After allegedly talking to Emma for 45 minutes, the two cops were satisfied that she was no danger to herself or others, and moved on to other pressing matters.

She was never seen again.

The website contains all the details of her disappearance and ongoing search.

Writing this blog might not bring any new details to the search, but it is an opportunity to underline some points that, in my opinion, were over or under-emphasized throughout the investigation. An effort to keep her memory and case on the forefront and another bread crumb on the trail leading to Emma. 

Many people disappear, but this case of the vanishing maiden is, to say the least, puzzling.


Emma was born on January 6, 1986, near Perth, Ontario. Her family consisted of 2 brothers, 1 sister, a mom who was a popular teacher and a father who was a part time artist.

She was described by her mother as shy, quietly happy and content with a cascading laughter.

Contrary to her athletic siblings, she excelled in the arts and chose dancing instead of sports; there was never one competitive bone in her body.

From a very young age, she had a smile that moved mountains and the heart and sensibility of a poet, which could be light and charming on the outside, but very secretive and even sad on the inside. She made a habit of keeping all her cards close to the vest.

Her parents’ divorce was not only painful, but became a hardship because her mom, Shelley, literally lost it, and would not accept that her husband had left her for a younger woman. She suffered a mental breakdown that lasted three years, and even attacked her ex with a knife. Sadly, Emma was the one who had to call the cops on her mother.

In the midst of the divorce, her father confided in Emma and she felt compelled to support him, which caused lasting friction with her mother.

Emma was a listener, but felt that nobody was there for her, which probably was because her secret nature did not allow others to penetrate her shell easily.

Always the free spirit, she left home at 16 to live with a friend’s family because she would not accept curfews and rules.

When she realized that her friend’s mother also had rules, she moved out and lived with a platonic boyfriend who was 10 years older than she was.

After quitting regular school, she attended a special program where she excelled. Her good grades allowed her to get grants to study culinary arts in Campbell River and to attend photojournalism school in Ontario.

She spent a short time teaching English in China and went to live in Nova Scotia for a while to be with her sister.

It was the beginning of her adventures. She was eager to see the world and to leave Lanark County behind.

She loved her family, and was close to her little brother she helped raise and care for, but she needed to spread her wings and fly. 

Culinary arts in Campbell River

She studied in Campbell River, BC, and ended up working at a local pub. We know that she had a steady boyfriend during her stay, and that the relationship became complicated. I am surprised that nothing was ever said on the subject.

Man is in love and loves what vanishes, What more is there to say?
W B Yeats

Her childhood friend said that Emma attracted the best and the worst. Her kind and generous nature made it hard for her to discriminate against anyone, and at times, it could be a curse and a blessing.

She also strangely stated that as a young woman, her good looks made her the object of pursuits that hindered her quest for personal growth; she went as far as calling it a life-ruining thing.

I personally do not think that Emma’s attractiveness was at the root of her problems or that young men do not face the same hurdles. Her personality and woes had nothing to do with feminist rhetoric, but way more with sense and sensibility and a budding mental disorder. 

Maybe it explains why we hardly hear of her romantic relationships once she arrived in Victoria; even if I believe that it could be one of the important missing links.

She went back to Perth for a short while after leaving Campbell River, and eventually moved on to Victoria island.

Emma was a nature lover and she was known to walk for hours in the forest barefoot, and to avoid night clubs or being part of the urban crowd.

Victoria and Mikaela

When Emma landed in Victoria, she had arranged to stay with an old friend called Mikaela and had a vague plan; nothing too precise, but at least, something to hang her hat on.

Mikaela was a law student who at the time, lived with her boyfriend. She had offered Emma shelter for a few months, and she ended up staying with them from October until December 2011. She also eventually lived in an apartment in the same building.

That’s when Mikaela and her boyfriend noticed the change in Emma. She would declare that she was drawn to Victoria because it was the center of something important. She had no clue what, but believed that it was meant to be.

During that period, she did not look for work and spent most of her time walking with very little sleep. They also noticed that she did not eat very much.

Her friend became worried because she walked for hours and compulsively picked up leaves along the way to redistribute them. She would come home with rocks  and other nature’s artifacts that she would lay on the table and seemed intent on rearranging in a creative way.

Mikaela noticed that Emma seemed to feel more compelled than enthused to go on these long strolls.

One night, Emma shared a poem with them and as she was reading it, she was shaking and crying; it was about her being the moon, them being the sun and their connection to the cosmos. And it was related to a change.

Emma was upset after her friend said that she did not really get her point. That’s when Mikaela talked to a few mental health specialists and tried to get Emma to consult, but she refused.

She even communicated with Emma’s father, James, to tell him how worried she was. He offered his daughter a plane ticket home, but did not seem too alarmed by this troubling situation.

When Mikaela moved to the Philippines for work, she basically had to leave Emma behind.

She could never imagine what would become of her good friend while she was away.

When she came back to Victoria in October 2012, she emailed Emma but had no clue she was now living in a shelter.

Julien Huard

Julien Huard

When Emma was still in Perth, she encountered a French guy named Julien Huard who became her walking companion.

They had met at a music festival and started hanging out for a while; canoeing, walking mostly at night, and basically going along with Emma’s spur of the moment lifestyle.

From the very beginning, it was clear that Julien was infatuated. Emma was beautiful, sensitive, talented and mostly very unusual. She would bring her ukulele and continually strum the same chord when they would walk. She never asked any personal questions and seemed to live in the moment.

Julien was from Quebec and he stayed in Perth for two years. After one of their long walks where he noticed that she wore the same pants every time, she put her head on his shoulder and he kissed her. She then held his hand. He was on cloud nine.

But the day after, she realized that it was a mistake and told him in no uncertain terms that she did not want to see him again or pursue a relationship because she was leaving town and did not want to get attached to anyone.

Her reaction was abrupt and took Julien by surprise. He called her a few times to try to make sense of it, but she had her dad tell him to stop calling. His reasoning was that they could simply remain friends.

That was it for Julien.

Strangely, she called him again and declared that she did not like the way she had handled the situation and wanted to pay him a visit for a chat. She did, and after a 30-minute conversation, they parted as friends, and he felt better about it. Case closed.

Even though Julien was accused of chasing Emma, it was she who showed up again at his door to ask him to go for a walk.

Emma made the rules.

He was surprised, but decided to go along. After he dared asking her why she was wearing the same pants every time they met, she turned cold and told him that she would finish the walk on her own.

As to be expected, he felt bad and decided to leave a note with a friend of Emma who worked at a cafe she frequented to apologize for making the comment.

It would be uncovered later that she was very sensitive and even ritualistic about some of her possessions. She would become defensive and even try to flee if anyone questioned her on what was perceived a the time, as her idiosyncrasies. Of course, we know now that it was the manifestation of a deeper problem.

And so the story went.

Fifth Estate clip

I resent the way the show Fifth Estate on Emma’s disappearance portrayed Julien.

They claimed that he followed her to Victoria a few months after she left, when in fact, he moved there 14 months later after carefully considering several other options where he could ride his bike and manage to secure a job and some living arrangement.

He did not have a car and Victoria offered the opportunity to ride his bike, walk and paddle all year.

As he said on the show, maybe on an unconscious level he was hoping to see her again, but his decision was made according to personal considerations. Even if Shelley likes to speculate otherwise, Julien, who has been pretty straightforward during this saga, reiterated that all he knew was that Emma was on the West Coast.

He never kept in touch with Emma and had not way of knowing if she was now married or involved in a relationship.

They made him look and sound quite sinister when he was simply a good guy with a big crush; certainly not a bunny boiler.

Meeting Emma in Victoria

One fine day, Julien saw Emma across the street in Victoria, and went to say hello. He said that she was happy to see him and gave him a hug. Her smile and warm welcome gave him the confidence to ask her to go for a bite after work, but she declined. He told her where he worked and invited her to visit him if she felt like it.

It is important to note that he did not go looking for her. He was taking a lunch break from work when she happened to pass by.

He made a point of not asking her where she lived or worked because he did not want to sound pushy.

There was a music festival coming up and against his better judgment, he sent Emma’s father a Facebook message asking him to transmit the invitation on his behalf.

To reassure him, he told him not to worry because he did not intend to ‘stalk’ her like in Ontario.

That was a big mistake that would come back to haunt him later when the unread message would be uncovered after Emma’s disappearance.

Being French, he had used the word stalk without a clear understanding of its meaning.

This created a false perception of Julien  that seems to persist to this day

STALKER: A person who harasses another person, as a former lover, in an aggressive, often threatening and illegal manner. 

It is pretty clear that Julien is not the only one to have confused the meaning of the word ‘stalker.

Sometimes a tree is just a tree

The next 2 times he would see Emma on the street, she would be withdrawn and not interested in engaging in any conversation. The opposite of the smiling girl he had encountered earlier.

During an encounter, she even seemed confused as who he was.

Unbeknownst to him, she was starting to show clear signs of mental illness. 

The last time he saw her was on the morning of November 28, 2012. He was in the bus going to a government building to get his health card when he spotted her on the sidewalk.

He was not even sure if it was her because she was wearing a big coat with a furry hood, and her hair was like a lion’s mane. She was carrying many bags and looked lost.

He got off the bus to go see her, and because he could not see her face unless he walked in front of her, he decided to go to his appointment.

When he came out,  he was surprised to see that the girl was still standing there, and decided to go check. After recognizing her, he asked if she needed to talk, but she shook her head no. 

He promised himself right then and there that if he saw her again, he would not bother talking to her. He had no clue that it would be the last time he would ever see Emma.

He had no way of knowing that she was in crisis.

After finding out that Emma was considered missing, Julien did not have to tell the authorities that he saw her at all, but he did. At first, he thought it was the 27th, but after checking his schedule he realized it was the 28th.

He saw her early in the morning and there were several sightings of her during the day and the evening so there was nothing fishy about their encounter.

He did not own a car and lived in a room he rented in a house owned by an adult. He had no game and no opportunity to take Emma or do her any harm.

But to this day, the court of public opinion and the media are looming large over the guy.

Emma calls home

Emma’s Mom

Emma did not own a cell phone and did not give her family any specific address. When she sent an email, it was optimistic and poetic. This is how they knew her to be so they never questioned if she was doing well or not. Contrary to what was said on the Fifth Estate, Emma was in regular contact with her mom.

The idea that it had been a long time since their last exchange was a misleading statement.

While in Victoria, she lived on boats, slept in the forest and ended up staying at a shelter for women at risk for months. It was called the Sandy Merriman House. Maybe it was to save money to go on a trip to Japan with her father, or maybe it was because she was lost, but nobody in her circle knew about it.

Emma had almost $3000 in the bank and owned an older Mazda van that she parked in Sooke. On November 21, she hired a tow truck to retrieve it and parked it downtown Victoria at a parkade. She told the driver that she was going back home to surprise her family and could not wait to see the snow. 

November in Victoria can get very dark and dreary with the rain. Emma was wondering how she would survive this darkness on her own. According to her writings, she felt alone and quite depressed.

A few days before her disappearance, she called her mom unexpectedly late at night, and told her to come and get her. She was crying and in a state of despair. But then, the day after, she would call and tell her not to come.

She did that for a few days and finally, her mom Shelley decided to come anyway after calling back the number of Sandy Merriman that her daughter had used to call her.

She thought it was the name of a friend, but was in for a shock when she realized that it was a shelter.

The staff would not tell her anything about her daughter because of privacy laws so Shelley decided to come check on her daughter.

Shelley arrives in Victoria

Emma’s timeline

When her mom arrived in Victoria and headed to the shelter, she was told by the staff that Emma had not claimed her bed that night.

She was spooked because the staff told her that her mom was coming. To this day, Shelley insists that she did not tell them that she was flying to Victoria.

After leaving the shelter, Emma was spotted several times. People called the cops on a couple of occasions to report how weird she was, and when she met an acquaintance from the library, he decided to call 911 after spending 30 minutes with her because he felt she was in some kind of distress. Not the normal Emma he had spent time looking at books with.

She was paranoid and afraid to walk under some specific construction.

When he saw the cops show up, he left thinking she was OK.

What he did not know, is that they would leave after talking to her because she had not shown signs of extreme distress. She told them that she had things to sort out and would be going to a friend’s place.

Her mother was very upset about this, but being from Vancouver, I know how many people roam the streets and the cops can only take care of the most extreme cases.

Sandy Merriman

At first, Shelley thought it was just a matter of time before she would encounter Emma. She went back to the shelter, talked to the police and did her due diligence, but there was no sign of Emma.

When the police got involved, she went back to the shelter and that’s when she found out about her daughter’s deteriorating condition in the recent weeks.

The staff of the Sandy Merriman had called the police when Emma started putting furniture and electrical devices outside because she thought they were talking to her. She was living with the curtains drawn and showed signs of paranoia.

They told the staff to call back if it got worse, but they never did.

Emma at 7-eleven

They even told her mom that towards the end, they were afraid of Emma. She had undergone a total reversal and was not the girl they knew when she arrived who would chat with them and be friendly.

One thing Shelley also found out is that her daughter had given up coffee, cigarettes and many types of food and was hardly eating.

She found her van and in it, were her passport, computer, cameras and personal effects.

She was caught on camera twice on November 28th going to a 7-eleven to buy a $200 credit card and later on, a prepaid cell phone. She kept peering through the door as if someone was watching her. Probably in the throes of an episode of paranoia.

Emma at YWCA acting strange

Shelley also found out that after learning of her arrival, her daughter had taken a cab at 6:10PM to go to the airport, but when the driver told her the fare was $60, she reneged and asked to be brought back at her initial point of departure.

Once there, she asked him if she could remain in the cab and questioned what the sounds coming from his receiver were.

She obviously did not intend to fly to Perth, and was trying to flee after learning of her mother’s upcoming visit. Once her mom would see her, she would have to face the seriousness of her condition.

Her actions displayed disorganized thinking and alogia struggle to give even brief answers; the cops said that at first, she would only shake her head.

She was also caught on video at the YWCA on November 20th as she was coming and going 6 times in a short period of time as if in a state of confusion.

It did not look or sound good.

Follow the money

The money in her bank account remains untouched to this day and the cell phone she purchased was never activated.

On the other hand, on December 5th, they found a man who was using her prepaid credit card to buy cigarettes on Sooke Road.

According to the police, the man told them that he had found the card near the Juan de Fuca Recreation Center, about 20 km from the Harbor where Emma was last seen. 

The man eventually reached out to Emma’s mom 3 times to tell her that he did not give the cops that location. He was so drunk at the time that he did not know where he picked up the card or if Emma gave it to him.

According to this man, who was suffering from severe alcoholism, he waited for a week to use the card. I am sorry, but when was the last time a drunk found a credit card and held on to it for a week? it sounds like he was trying to dissociate himself from the date of her disappearance.

It is difficult to fathom why the Fifth Estate made such a big deal about Julien Huard, but totally ignored the only person who was in possession of direct evidence.

Instead, they discussed the possibility of Emma being foxy enough to fool everyone and avoided the subject all together. Logically, if Emma wanted to disappear and it was all a ruse, she would have never called her mom several times to come get her and she would not have attracted the attention of the police or feigned being paranoid. How on earth could they come up with this type of logic?

According to some of her friends, she was harassed by a guy she had met in Campbell River. What happened to this lead? Why the obsession with Huard, but nothing about all her other relationships of the male and female persuasion?

Huard and the other person of interest both passed the polygraph test, and even if I do not really put much stock in this technology, it is more telling if you pass than if you fail.

There could be so many reasons to fail because it detects physicals signs of discomfort that could be brought on by different triggers, even if you are not lying, but if you pass, you are either telling the truth, a sociopath or you do not remember what happened.

The red flag should have been that even if the man who found the credit card passed a polygraph test and was seemingly cleared after questioning, any test or interview would be meaningless if he was drunk to the point of no recollection.

A good hypnotherapist might have been able to determine if it was all a song and dance or maybe help him remember some important details. 

A witness saw Emma walk with an older man on the afternoon of November 28th.

Victoria inner harbor

On December 2nd,  a woman who was taking photographs in the inner harbor reported seeing a young woman leaning against a wall smoking a cigarette. She came over and offered advice on the camera operation and how to frame the parliament buildings in the background.  

The woman said that she was not acting in an odd manner, but asked her to repeat her name ‘Emma Fillipoff’ three times, which she did.

The woman found that a little peculiar but it wasn’t until a couple days later that she was watching the news and the Emma missing story came on.

I do not want to call her a liar, but Emma did not smoke since quite a while and could not have looked ‘normal’ after weeks of semi-psychosis. When last seen, she could only shake her head and would hardly communicate and showed signs of extreme paranoia and confusion.

That someone seemingly normal would ask you to repeat her name three times does not mesh. I do not know what to think of this one, and this is why they called it an unconfirmed sighting.

The lead that was not

Just another weirdo in paradise

Another strange element of this case is the emphasis on the photo of a guy who went into a shop in Gastown, Vancouver and said that Emma was his girlfriend and did not want to be found because she hated her parents.

This guy is more than likely another Zonky from the area.

There are a lot of people walking around in Vancouver with untreated mental illness, addictions and crazy stories to spill.

It is right by downtown East side and anyone who takes a walk there or has lived in the area, will kind of dismiss this story.

Not that it should not have been pursued, but does it deserve this type of attention?

Why is there no information at all about previous boyfriends or male encounters, coworkers, homeless people she would chat with, etc. and such emphasis on the likes of Julien and an insignificant guy shredding a poster in Gastown?

After all, it is logical to think that if she needed help, she would have turned to someone familiar like she did when she called her mom.

The elusive Emma

According to her mother, mental illness runs on both sides of Emma’s family. You have to admire Shelley for her candor.

After reading the thousands of letters and journals left by her daughter in her van, she realized that Em was suffering from serious mental deterioration and had been depressed and troubled for a very long time, and did not want to bother anyone with her pain.

She realized the extent of her despair, but too late.

On her computer, they found a note from Dead Emma: 

to everyone
from dead Emma
I figure someone will be on this computer at some point and will read this
okay, so I’m dead 
floating about on energy or not
watching dying stars, reviving stars
and dreaming milky dreams and shadow dancing on your timelines
or whatever
good luck everyheart
I love you

Her mood fluctuated like the wind, and she could have written it on a bad day or simply because she knew that one day, someone would find her computer and it would mean that she was dead. 

Mind you, I tend to agree with Julien Huard who remarked that Emma was so private that the idea of anyone reading what was on her computer would definitely be because she was walking towards a certain death; physical or otherwise.

One of the Fifth Estate experts concluded that the dead Emma’s note did not sound like a regular suicide letter.

Sorry, but none of her emails ever sounded like regular communications.

I suspect that Dead Emma was often contemplating ending it, and at other times, Happy Emma was enthused about life. She was ill so keeping her head above water must have been more and more grueling. As she said herself, she was missing from her own life.

Shelley remained in BC for a few months and visited friends and acquaintances or anyone who could have seen or talked to Emma.

Red Fish Blue fish restaurant

Emma had worked in a seasonal restaurant called Red Fish Blue Fish and they were expecting her back for the reopening, but she never showed.

It was like she had evaporated into thin air.

A team of divers scored the harbour but found nothing.

Billboards were erected on main roads and a reward of $25,000 was offered, but to no avail.

What’s in the cards?

This case has become an enigma and many have talked about it around the water cooler or participated in physical searches or investigative activities. As they say ”You find out how important you are by how long they look for you if you are missing.” This quest seems eternal.

Pamela Valemont

Because I had nothing new to add but my humble opinion about the case, I decided to consult Pamela Valemont from Australia who does forensic numerology criminal profiling, and had never heard of the case before.

You can visit her website

I only gave her Emma’s name and date of birth and the date of her disappearance:

E M M A   F I L L I P O F F

5  4 4  1     6 9 3 3 9 7 6 6 6

= 14           Master 55


30/3 Soul


EMM+1 = 5+13+13+1= 32/5

AEM+6 = 1+5+13+6= 25/7

MAE+1986 = 13+1+5+24= 43/7


Cycle: Aged 26 in 2012

2012 birthday

26+ Age

2038= 13/4 Death Cycle, mediated through the Master 38/11 between her birthday on 6th January, 2012 and 6th May, 2012. This is when the illness struck.  Most probably in the month of January, between 6th of January and 6th February. She was then in a Personal 12/3 Year (6+1+2012=12/3) ruling the throat, and when you add the number 1 for the first month, you get the number 13/4.  So death month in a death cycle, mediated through the illness ruling the goitre.

I think she had a goiter problem initially, which progressed to Hashimoto’s disease

Disease: I think she was suffering a thyroid storm.   In all likelihood, left untreated, she would have lapsed into a coma and died eventually. Prior to that, she would have been so disoriented she would not have been capable of taking care of herself or her financial affairs. It is possible dementia and extreme paranoia ensued prior to death. As I said, hopefully someone rescued her and got her medical aid, but it is a small hope really, isn’t it?


7  6 9 2 9 5 = Master 38/11

On the face of it, she does have the potential to totally remake her life, and may have made a decision to change direction entirely. Life Lesson 31/4, and Soul Number of 30/3, indicating independent lady who fits well into the male business dominated world.  She would be drawn to Australia and the UK. In November 2012, she was having a reversal in friends and fortune. 12/3 Year. Throat problems, possibly thyroid which can cause mental illness. On her birthday in 2013, she entered the Death Year, 13/4 but she had already vanished by then. Can be a dangerous year for suicide, and terminal or life-threatening illness; but equally it can be a remake or break year, do or die year, and she may have decided to begin again far away. In November 2012 she was in her Soul Cycle at that time, dominated by the numbers 42/6 and 8. The former indicates a love relationship, and either marriage or commitment and a new home resulting or negatively divorce and separation and moving out of the coupled relationship. 8 means it could have been with a person of either sex.

Best to look into who she was seeing at the time, and where that person is right now.   I think that will give you the answer you seek.

I have found another number which means that she also had connections to the USA. So, she may have disappeared with someone who was American, Australian or British by birth. I am absolutely sure she was in some kind of relationship or thought she was anyway, at the time of her disappearance, and this has led to her sudden departure from the scene. She may have called that person to come and get her.  Clearly, she was thinking of leaving the country, or the city at least. I can’t find any concrete evidence of foul play. Another number I have found on her chart clearly indicates the likelihood of thyroid disease, like Hashimoto’s, and if this was not diagnosed, I’d say that was the cause of her mental illness. I would say that if she has come to harm, it did not happen immediately, but after her birthday on Jan 6, 2013. This suggests she may have gone voluntarily with the person she left the scene with, rather than an abductor.  However, given her parlous circumstances, that person she left with may have feigned friendship, of course, to take advantage of her condition. If she did have Hashimoto’s, as I suspect, without medical intervention, she would die within days, weeks or months. Sounds like she was in a pretty bad way. She should have been admitted to hospital for tests.  Anyone who tried to help her may have found themselves with a dead body on their hands in pretty quick time. They may have been afraid to come forward. Hopefully, best scenario is she found medical help in time, but if so, it is strange that no doctor or hospital has come forward to announce they had treated her.

Iodine deficiency caused by no salt intake is fatal and many people, in fact, most people, do not realize that. What was the season at the time, November, it would have been cold by then.  If she fell down unconscious in the woods, she would freeze to death overnight. Falling into a coma suddenly is what people with Hashimotos do. Can you find out if she was losing hair at all? Falling or thinning hair, dry skin, feeling unnaturally cold and putting on extra layers of clothing when others are quite warm would not have been noticed in November, though it would have been in summertime. Losing weight is another symptom.

She could have died after January 2013. Clearly, she was not far off that year numerologically, so the illness was becoming more and more serious by Nov 2012. My diagnosis is she developed severe thyroid disease and this caused her illness in the first place. Can you find out from her Mum if she was ever tested for that illness?  That is very important in determining what might have become her fate. She could have fallen into a coma and died somewhere, which is what happens with Hashimoto’s disease if it is not diagnosed in time. It sounds like she was having a thyroid crisis at the time of her disappearance. All the symptoms are there: manic, hallucinations, and yes, vegan diet without any salt containing iodine will definitely cause Hashimoto’s Disease.  This disease and the mortality rate from it is the very reason salt is now required to contain added iodine. Without iodine, cretinism in babies and severe mental illness is the result. Master 38/11 on her chart means she was/is in the firing line for this disease.

A walk in the woods

I found Pamela Valemont reading interesting, especially knowing now that Emma was suffering from a severe mental breakdown when she vanished.

I wondered if they checked her health card and who she had visited during the recent months. Was there a case of a Jane Doe in Seattle in any of their hospitals?

Was her story published in the US and especially in neighboring cities?

In theory, it would have been easy for Emma to slip away with someone to the US or deep into the country and off the grid, but practically speaking, and considering her mental health on November 28th, she was too much in dire need of help and health care to be able to do so.

Especially after listening to the very sad interview with Mika who was Emma’s roommate for 3 months and witnessed her descent into despair and mental illness. 

It is possible that Emma who could walk manically for 8 hours at a time, went deep into the woods until the point of exhaustion and passed at one with nature.

I prefer to think that she quit her life and with the help of a kind soul, found a new path away from her worries.

I doubt very much that she could have joined the homeless drug addicts of Vancouver downtown eastside. 

She would have been spotted on the ferry and her inescapable health problems would have made her too vulnerable and noticeable.

She would have eventually been noticed and picked up or brought to a hospital.

I know that area very well and it is not that anonymous. Plus, $25,000 is a lot of money so someone would have made a call.

Until the mystery is resolved, we are left with Emma and her poem:

“There is promise of flight.

And I lay in fear

In fear somehow



Fear crept in.

She’s missing.

I am missing.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: I was sad to hear about what happened to Emma’s mother and to her brother Matthew. The gossip machine took over the Internet and some people made a huge deal out of it while accusing her family of using donations for drugs and of being responsible for Emma’s disappearance. I am glad to know that Shelley has been cleared. What an ordeal for the entire family. My thoughts are with them. And it obviously has nothing to do with the case at hand. The quest is not over.

Podcasts about Emma:


Facebook help find Emma

The Victoria Colonist had a series of articles on Emma

Help Find Emma Website

There is the Fifth Estate TV show but I do not recommend it as it is biased, full of clichés and misinformation.